Cacoethes Scribendi

It's been a looooong time since I updated here. Life's been absolutely crazy!!!!
Since the last time, I'm back at work, and within the first week I was reduced to the stress-infected, stuttering lunatic that I was before my vacation. So that much is normal.

But then today, I'm starting a collage class and while they did send me an e-mail (it's a long-distance tuition, thing), that we were getting a soft start, I'm still nervous, because how can I, undisciplined and lazy, manage to juggle work AND school? I will manage though, for ten weeks, I'll grit my teeth and pummel on, because this is as much for me as it is for my mother.
She was the one that encouraged (forced) me to apply, and she's also the one that's been the most excited about it, from everyone I've told. Actually, when I've relayed this information, those at work simply asked if I would be able to keep working simultaneously, no congratulations, or 'good for you's. TJ, who is supposedly my best friend, although I'm seriously debating that at the moment, just looked at me funny and asked me "why?"
Yeah, why would anyone wish to educate themselves? Does she -or anyone else- honestly think I want to spend the rest of my working life in a bookstore? Coming out of High School, I had pretty grand hopes for myself, and while I might not strive to become the next Bill Gates, I do want to feel like I accomplished something during my (hopefully) many years of life.

Which reminds me of the episode of Desperate Housewives when Edie dies. I'm not a huge fan of that show, I just watch it occasionally, but I did watch that one, and I was so stricken by what she said, that even since she was young, she hadn't been able to see herself getting old.
I'm the same way! It's like my perception of life ends at fifty and that's if I push it. It's not that I want to die young, but there's nothing in my life (right now) that I can see continue after, I don't know, forty. It's weird, and a little scary.
We had a retirement dinner for one of my colleagues yesterday, and I just couldn't see myself sitting in that chair, wrinkly and old, in forty years, having the younger ones wish me a happy "rest of my life".
Yeah, I'm depressing today!

As a little funnier note, we met our new co-worker yesterday. I don't really know what to think of him, except for the fact that I hope he'll be a little more....serious in the future, because while he wasn't cracking inappropriate jokes at the dinner (that's my and MJ's job) he was telling stories about a life that didn't exactly strike me as a "serious" person. And I'm very serious about my job.
Seriously sick of if, is more likely.
ANYWHO, he came into our little circle of employees rather abruptly, we didn't even know they were hiring. Well, we sort of figured, since we were one woman short now (there's a lot of girls working in that bookstore....) and from one hour to the next we suddenly had a new co-worker. Like, hello, I'm X and I'm here to meet your boss and then Goodbye, see you next week, I'm the new guy.
Whoa, slow down, didn't quite catch the last part.
But I hope we'll get along just fine, as long as he doesn't try to bulldoze over my work. I'm very territorial... I'm not above pissing in the corners to state claim. =o)

Yeah, now onto breakfast!